Big Fish in a Small Pond

"Y'see, most men, they'll tell a story straight through— it won't be complicated, but it won't be interesting either."

A quote from Big Fish, one of my favorite movies of all time. 

Whenever I feel like my life is sinning out of control, that I can't seem to comprehend anything anymore and I can't function, can't think, can't breathe, I turn to a film that I relate to so much. In one scene, Edward Bloom compares himself to his son, saying they both storytellers. His sons writes them down, while he speaks them. I am a story teller.

I love writing, and I love sharing my stories with people. If you're my friend, you know this to be true. I find some of my stories so entertaining, and I am always talking about my experiences. I think that's why I love this movie. I exaggerate, yes, but only for the good of the story. I want a life worth speaking about, worth writing about. I want to be known for what I've done, and Iw ant people to enjoy my stories, and to crave more.

As I watch this, I relate to so many quotes in the story, but one in particular stands out to me right now. 

"And if I were to end up here, I'd consider myself lucky. But the truth is, I'm not ready to end up anywhere."

As my time in college comes to an end, I find myself staring at multiple roads and can envision multiple futures I could have. Some involve a life settled down, another involves a life of travel and ambition and never being in the same place twice. I have decisions to make, and I know they can change, but right now I feel so much pressure in my life. Truth be told, I'm not ready to end up anywhere, or with anyone. I am me, and right now I'm content with my life and I'm really looking forward to my future.

I'll admit, I'm a hopeless romantic, but I know in time I'll find love, and I know in time that my life will play out in exactly the way I intended it to. I'm leaving things up to fate, and just hope that everything turns out great in the end. It's time for me to write more stories, to experience more things to write about. I need to be comfortable with myself before i can be comfortable with anyone else, and I'm looking forward to that. And when I'm old, I can look back on my life and smile, and know that I did everything right.

"The man tells his stories so many times that he becomes the stories. They live on after him. And in that way, he becomes immortal."

Anger and Frustration

This is a vent session. 

Whenever I get angry, I find it best to sit back and write vigorously about everything that frustrates me. It is a personal therapy, and gives me a moment to relax. This is one of those times.

I am sick of people harassing me about useless bullshit. I said it, bullshit. At this current moment in my life, and in the lives of all the seniors here at my school, the main priority is to pass classes and to get a job. So why, instead, am I spending my nights arguing with my peers over opinion articles and ad pricing? It's ridiculous. I want to be able to go through a week, where I can complete all my work, put out a paper without worrying that someone is going to get all frustrated over an article that isn't that bad, and then end up looking like the bad guy. I'm sick of being hated for doing my job. I feel as though I'm constantly fighting to defend myself and my friends, and the decisions I make in my VOLUNTARY positions here on campus.

And that's what kills me. This is all voluntary. I have a strong personality, and am one who is not willing to back down without a fight. But why am I stressing myself over such foolish and irrelevant things? When I graduate in a month, and look back on my years at RWU, the last thing I want to remember is that people were angry at me for doing my job. and doing it well.

This is my statement: I am a reporter. I am the editor in chief. My only dedication lies with my newspaper. I want to be known as one of the best editors in the history of my school, and to report on what I feel is important. I want to print the opinions that matter, and I don't care who they anger. In the real world, what I'm doing is so minor, and no one is going to care about what I did on a daily basis at RWU. I'm proud of myself, and if I angered people, so what. 

But the stress kills me. Maybe I'm cut out for this. Maybe Archaeology is my future. Everyone I work with for that is already dead. And their lives are so much more important. 

My point: What you do in college is only a small part in your life story. No one will care about how popular you were in high school, and no one will care how much you did for your organization in the future. So get over yourself. Shut down your ego, and start caring about something meaningful.

The List

So over the weekend, while hanging out with my wonderful family in Cape Cod, I realized that I had a list of things that I need to research, not for school, not for a job, but simply for the soul purpose of increasing my knowledge of the world. 

So, for the first time, I'm going to begin my list. It's like a bucket list, of everything I want to read about and everything I want to learn how to do. I want to be able to talk about the oddest things, and know something about it. I will be the ultimate conversation starter, or the ultimate conversation piece. 

This would also be a great list to go off of for future gifts.

So, voila! The List.

1. I want to learn more about rock operas. I want to know how they started, why they exist, and I want to watch them.

2. Rock climbing. I already know how to do this, I just want to do more of it.

3. I want to read more of the Bible in a historical context. how much came true? And how does it relate to today?

4. I want to become a wine connoisseur. I want to know types of wines, the best years, and what foods go well with what wines.

5. Cooking. I want to master Italian flavors, then following with japanese. I want to be able to know how to sue certain spices and certain oils. I also want to be able to cook some of the dishes I always crave but could never make.

6. I want to learn an instrument. I have a guitar, so I could do that. Or go back to piano. I'm sure after some practice I could pock that up again.

7. Photography. I want to get more into this, as well as filming. I know the basics, but I want to cover more and experiment more.

8. I want to learn more about American history and travel around the country. Since I live here, I should be able to talk about all the aspects of my home.

9. I want to learn everything I can about archaeology. This is a perspective career for me, so why not, right?

10. I want to learn more about Tibet and the conflicts there. I bought prayer flags on a whim last year, but I want to learn more about them.

Ok, that's it for now. Let's see how long it takes me to do this. I feel it might be a life goal.

Peace!

Gaga

Photoshoped! I caught you!

Check out this photo:

Seems like a nice photo of the President of RWU shaking hands with a Bristol official, commemorating the wonderful gift of a water tower from RWU to the town. Everybody say awwwwwwww.

But look closer. This said Bristol official appears to have an odd outline, one that seems a bit unnatural.

Now look closer. Nirschel has a shadow, the other man does not. At first, I thought that maybe his body was blocking the shadow, but no. If this was a real picture, his shadow would be right in that god damned open area.

So ha RWU, we caught you! Lying to your campus and to the world! What gives man, what gives? Hire a better photographer!

Peace!

Gaga