Yes friends, tonight I had my first experience with real life Guidos. They fist pumped, danced only with each other, drank Jager Bombs. And all i could think was 'Dear God, am I in Hell?" They were everywhere, drinking and fist pumping to a Dave Matthews cover band (classy, right). I wanted to tap each one on the shoulder and tell them we had a "Jersey Shore" themed party last month.
The first guy i noticed was wearing one of those uber-Guido shirts with the black gothic tattoo print on it, and had the mini-blowout cut (which I'm assuming he plans on growing out to give him that "Pauly-D" look). I made a comment about "The Situation" being in the house, in my own sarcastic and joking way, until he ordered three Jager Bombs and brought over his two overly-muscular Guido friends to join in.
I never saw any women actually give them attention. At the "Jersey Shore," the characters (and yes, they are still characters) would bring home a new girl each night, but all I saw was rejection after rejection after rejection. Then the first guy came over to me and my friends.
The guy tried three times before I had to lie and tell him I had a boyfriend and that he would come and find him if he bothered me again. He seemed harmless, as he kept trying to get me to dance, but really, he was just getting on my nerves. He also looked like he was under 21. I should have asked for I.D.
There was a very large guy who hit on Kerry, but she got rid of him quick. But by far, my favorite was the only mildly-attractive guy who tried to 'reel us in like fish caught on a hook" to get us to come to the dance floor. it was then I knew it was time to go home.
So, for all you non-believers, Guidos exist. Or maybe wannabe-guidos. Either way, they are around.
And for all you Guidos, Pauly-D may be from Rhode Island, but that doesn't allow you to act that way.
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